Many of you guys may not know this about be...but I like to write. And when I was presented with the great opportunity to create a play in one of my classes at school, I was OVERLY excited...because that's how I get. Anyways, I thought to myself...I shall share this awesome play with the world. So, that is what I'm doing...while listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. Dayum right, foo'.
ORIGANAL SCRIPT!
Narrator: “This is a story about a man named Lawrence Exeter and his very, very interesting life. This story is like nothing you probably have heard before. This story is kind of like a soap-opera-with-magic-horses-turned-musical. Our play begins on August 30, 1903 at Goosie Gander Baby Shoppe.”
Random Employee: “May I help you, sir? We’ve got a great new scrabble set…but be careful…you might lose an ‘I’.
Lawrence Sr.: “Well, actually yes. I am throwing a baby shower and the theme is underwater cowboys. I need everything that has to do with that.
Employee: (confused) “Underwater...cowboys?”
Lawrence Sr.: “That is correct.”
Employee: “I’m afraid we can’t help you with that, sir.”
Lawrence Sr.: “DRATS!” (with enthusiasm) “Looks like I’m going to have to throw a normal, boring baby shower. And my wife will be so disappointed.”
Everybody: (speak) “That’s okay!” (sings) “We’ll just have to push it, push it, to the limit, limit. ‘Cause we’re in it to win it, in it to win it. Oh yeah!”
Narrator: “A couple days later, something totally unexpected happened! His wife had the baby! I know craziness right? …Anyways Lawrence Exeter SENOIR now goes out to California Toyland Company.”
Employee: “Hello, sir. May I help you?”
Lawrence Sr.: “Yes, do you sell horses here that happen to be, I don’t know, $83.20?”
Employee: “Actually, we do. And let me tell you, they’re a little better than horses that you buy at a toy store that happen to be $83.20.
Lawrence Sr.: “Better?”
Employee: “Why, yes. They’re magical!”
Lawrence Sr.: (confusingly stares) “Magical?”
Employee: “Yeppers!”
Lawrence Sr.: “I’ll take it!”
Narrator: “So, Lawrence Sr. bought his son, Lawrence Jr., a magical horse. What was so magical about it? Well, that’s simple…everything. Everything was magical. Now, Junior was a bit of a trouble maker back in the day. Why don’t you take a look at his latest prank?”
Lawrence Jr.: (talking to horse) “This’ll be hilarious. All you have to do is make a mess, okay?”
Horse: (nods head, runs into school and makes a mess)
Everybody: (sing “Doodoodoo Song” a.k.a. “William Tell Overture”)
Teacher: (obviously angry) “LAWRENCE! What have you and your horse done?”
Lawrence Jr.: (looks around at mess) “Well, to me, it looks like you need to start organizing your classroom a little better.”
Teacher: “I’ve had it with you! You are expelled from this school!”
Narrator: “You can’t imagine his dad being too thrilled with Junior. To Junior’s dad, it was a ticket straight to military school. Military school isn’t exactly interesting. So, I’ll take you straight to Junior’s 18th birthday.”
Lawrence Sr.: “So, how much is the car?”
Car Salesman: “Only $3,885, sir.”
Lawrence Sr.: “Okay, I’ll take it.”
Lawrence Jr.: “Seriously dad?!”
Lawrence Sr.: “Seriously son.”
Car Salesman: “But, let me tell you something. This car is magical.”
Lawrence Sr.: (confusingly stares) “Magical?”
Car Salesman: “Yes, it can turn into a plane.”
Lawrence Jr.: “Suuuh-weetness!”
Car Salesman: “Very suuuh-weet.”
Narrator: “You can imagine how excited an 18 year-old boy would be about getting his own car/plane. But something very tragic happened to the car while he was flying over Italy. Junior hit the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Well, at the time it was the Tower of Pisa.” (winks dramatically to audience) “As Lawrence Jr. is at Stanford University, let’s check in with Lawrence Sr., who flies to Paris with Miss Daisy Windsor a.k.a. his secret lover.”
Everybody: (sings) “Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we are.”
Narrator: “Lawrence Sr. later felt guilty and bought his lovely wife tons of jewelry and flowers.”
Lawrence Sr.: (talking to wife) “Here honey. I am back from my trip with gifts.”
Sr.’s Wife: “Why did you bring me so much Lawrence?”
Everybody: (sings) “Why not? Why not? Take a crazy chance. Why not? Why not? Do a crazy dance.”
Narrator: “Later Lawrence Sr. gives his son something very special.”
Lawrence Sr.: “Son, I have something I bought for you.” (pulls out ring)
Lawrence Jr.: “Dad, you’re not proposing to me, are you?”
Lawrence Sr.: “No, this here is an engagement ring to give to your special lady. I know you love her and you don’t have much money right now, so I thought I’d buy it for you.”
Lawrence Jr.: “Dad, what if I’m not ready?”
Lawrence Sr.: “Let the potato chips fall where they may, son.”
Lawrence Jr.: “Gee, thanks dad!”
Lawrence Sr.: “You’re welcome.”
Narrator: “So, Lawrence Junior proposed. And it was magical. Truly magical.”
(Wedding scene with song “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”)
Random Singer 1: (sings) “I can see what’s happening.”
Random Singer 2: (speaks) “What?”
Random Singer 1: (sings) “And they don’t have a clue.”
Random Singer 2: (speaks) “Who?”
Random Singer 1: (sings) “They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line our trio's down to two.”
Random Singer 2: (speaks) “Oh.”
Everybody: (sings) “Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings.”Narrator: “Aww…Kodak moment. But, after the honeymoon, it gets a little less peaceful. It all started when he forgot to get her a Valentine’s Day gift. He finally remembered though, four days after Valentine’s Day.”
Jr.’s Wife: “I can’t believe you forgot to get me a gift. Ugh! Men!”
Lawrence Jr.: “You don’t have to give me that ‘tude!”
Narrator: “I know, pretty bad. Wait to see how she got back at him.”
Lawrence Jr.: (sleeping in bed) “Why is my bed so wet…and RED!?” (his horse’s head is under blanket) “Oh-Em-Gee! That is my horse’s head.”
Narrator: “Yeah, bad. They eventually got a divorce and Lawrence Jr. went kind of crazy and ran her over with his car. Don’t worry, though, because I know you guys were, she’s not hurt. She just claims to have a broken leg and Lawrence has to pay all the medical expenses. Meanwhile at his favorite restaurant, Tony Spagoni’s…”
Lawrence Jr.: “Tony, I’m depressed.”
Tony Spagoni: (Italian accent) “Don’t be depressed. Here. I’ll make you some spaghetti.”
Lawrence Jr.: “Thanks Tony.”
Tony Spagoni: “No problem.”
Narrator: “Everyday he would go to Tony’s and everyday he’d eat away his sorrow. Lawrence Jr. was depressed, and he knew it. So, he went out and got a trainer, Peter, so he could lose the entire wait he gained.”
Everybody: (sings, “Work this Out” High School Musical) “We’ve got to work, work, to work this out. We’ll make things right, the sun will shine.”
Peter: “You can do this, Lawrence!”
Everybody: (sings, “Get’cha Head in the Game” High School Musical) “You gotta, get'cha, get'cha head in the game.”
Lawrence Jr.: (running in place) “I can do this!” (collapses, has heart attack) “Goodbye cruel world!” (over-act)
Peter: “Noooooo!”
Narrator: “Very tragic. A couple hours later in the hospital…”
Lawrence Sr.: “How is he doc?”
Dr. McCoy: “I’m sorry but-“
Lawrence Sr.: “Nooooo!”
Everybody: (sings “Tomorrow” from movie/musical Annie)
Narrator: “So, that is our story. I hope you enjoyed it and if not…I’m sorry.”
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